War of the Roses



War of the Roses are segments typically involve a person in a committed relationship - the initiator - who believes that he or she is being cheated on. With the initiator silent on the phone, Kane (or in some cases, Sarah) will call the suspected party using a ruse to get them to talk - usually claiming that the suspect has just won a free dozen roses as part of a promotion to be delivered to anyone of his or her choice, with no other obligation other than to "please tell a friend about our great service".

During the phone call, Kane asks the suspect questions that will hopefully reveal the identity of the subject of their affair, and other questions that may help understand the nature of it. For example, Kane will typically ask the suspect for one or two sentences to be used as an optional "personal message" to be included with the gift. Once the suspect gives up the name and reveals the secret relationship, the spouse or significant other is free to jump in and chastise the guilty party over the phone.

The ruse may be improvised depending on what is believed to most likely attract the suspect's attention. Examples used are a purported call from a venereal disease clinic. The VD ruse involved stating that "someone with a disease listed you as a recent sexual partner, but we can only tell you more (for confidentiality reasons) if you can tell us the name of the person who might have referred you".

Often, suspects are confused and bewildered when confronted on the phone, because they are unaware that they've been taken in by a ruse, and often believe their significant other is really at home listening on an extension. Suspects who believe this continue with the prize dialogue with Kane and continue to embarrass themselves, unaware that the entire call is a prank.

Other suspects turn out to not be cheating at all, and end up sending the roses - and the embarrassment along with them - to their significant other who initiated the call.